Whereforto Ye Wanderers

Whereforto Ye Wanderers.



Wednesday, November 16, 2011

stuck battling in a mental war chasm
pain so explicit i can barely imagine
another long sleepless night
where snakes from nightmares slither and bite.
my diagnosis still seems like a waking dream
some far-out conspiracy psychiatric scheme
but look on my records, schizophrenia is what they mean.
now neorosis isn't as easy to explain as it seems
a boy born beneath a maligned sign with a not-so-subtle pyschotic disease
too much seratonin got me mad railing
with waking nightmares, delusions so distinct
so i drink, write, think to keep in check my crazy.
crass, what have you been doing today?
just staying in bed watching shadows dance, talk and play
but the neorosis doesnt always stick--
some days it waxes and wanes
so i'll always be tantalized by some sort of saner way to stay.

like the longest winding twilight i fight to ward off the night
desperate for vision desperate for sight
descending from this meandering light.

my mind twists like the wind in fragmented shattered pigments,
for me,
everyday is a mental war, no one can tell me no different,
so i go through the motions, split on mental faultlines
long gone goes the sense of linear time
just another hour by hour play by play of a desperate, reeling mind
where the medicine i hate gives me the only stability i could hope to find.

like the longest winding twilight i fight to ward off the night
desperate for vision desperate for sight
descending from this meandering light.

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